The Year That Was 2005

I couldn't make up my mind whether to be sarcastic or serious in reminiscing about this past year, so I will jump back and forth between the two when I damn well feel like it. For me, 2004 was a very memorable year and would be hard to top: I graduated college, got married, had a blast watching the Presidential primaries and general election, was crushed when Dubya won and declared his kingship, watched the mela in Detroit with my beloved Pacers as they kicked the shit out of Piston fans and had a great time at my first SXSW film festival. But, as I sit here on the last day of 2005, I think it just might have been topped. I've been watching all the year in review shows on ESPN and MSNBC which I can't get enough of, I love this time of year, thinking back about the past. And I've come to the conclusion that this year has been ridiculous, scary, frustrating and eventful. Let's start the rundown shall we?

The Jerkface presents "2005 Year In Review":

-I started the year the same way I will end it, flailing about in a drunken manner to rythmic sounds of Kool and the Gang's "Celebrate Good Times" in what I call dancing and what others may call a seizure.

-Next came the debut of EvansAmerica on the web as we kicked things off with a cool launch party at a local club.

-Hookergate unfolded at the White House as it was discovered that a right wing blogger Jeff/Jim Gannon/Guckert who turns out is a gay male escort who runs several websites with that theme in addition to being a right wing "journalist" had been attending White House press briefings and even a press conference with the Prez himself and lobbing corny softball questions to the bewilderment of the serious reporters in the room. Oops.

-Creighton b-ball won the MVC and made it to March Madness yet again, thanks to the star power of one JiMMY Motz, with a special emphasis on the m's as you say it. JiMMY Motz, say it out loud boys and girls.

-Finally premiered my film "ITK" which I started way back in 2003 at the Dundee Theater to a decent sized crowd, most of whom seemed to enjoy the film. I can do better, but where I was at as a filmmaker at the time, I was very proud of what we pulled off as I always am.

-SXSW 2nd Edition, it was awesome! Plain and simple. Drove all night to get there, but it was worth it. Saw lots of celebrities, lots of good movies, drank a lot of alcohol and overall had a great time hanging out at the Alamo and 6th Street. Oh and Al Franken is the man, who is rumored to be running for the Senate in Minnesota in '08 to take back Paul Wellstone's old seat from the deuschebag Norm Coleman. Al will have a campaign check coming his way from me when he does announce is all I'm saying.

-The Terry Schiavo debacle. Oh this was the first sign that the radical right in this country was really trying to push the limits in this country and that the pathetic politicians who should have known better were all too happy to make asses out of themselves trying to get involved in a private family affair involving a brain dead woman who had been kept alive for years past when she should have been let go. It was a sad affair, for Republican pundits and politicians, especially Sen. Frist who proclaimed to the country that his medical opinion after watching a five minute tape of the woman was that she was just fine, contrary to the years of research, tests and diagnosis from the qualified doctors who had worked on her in the past. Just for the record, when all the facts came out showed Frist and the right wingers were wrong, 100%, undeniably WRONG. Like they usually are when the FACTS are all out on the table. It was sickening to watch the fight unfold, but little did I know it was just the beginning of the things for 2005.

-Bennifer became a different Bennifer, Brad dumped Jen for Angelina, Jen fell for Vince, and Tom Cruise went off his rocker to promote his movie and brought back the word "glib" which is awesome, but the rest is not. I've never seen a guy who has it all try to self destruct himself so hard, I mean he really tried didn't he? Tom just is in need of a good dicking more than anyone I've ever seen. Seriously, he really needs to get laid, and I don't mean a Katie lay, I mean he needs to grab the catcher's mask and take the field if youknowwhatimsayin.

-The Husker baseball team made an incredible trip to the College World Series along the way winning the Big 12, beating Miami and picking up their first ever CWS win before their season ended with a heartbreaking extra-innning loss to Arizona State in one of the BEST college baseball games I have ever seen. Andy Gerch is my hero.

-After a long and crazy season, my Indiana Pacers lost in the 2nd round of the playoffs to those god damn Pistons again. It was even more of a sad night, because it would be Reggie Miller's last b-ball game. He had announced his retirement earlier in the season, so I knew this day would eventually be coming, but it got to me pretty bad when he walked off the court to a standing ovation for the last time. I had watched Reggie since I was in elementary school, collected his cards, had two posters of him in my room, wore his jersey in junior high, and lived all of his memorable moments like the time he scored 8 straight points in the last 11 seconds of a playoff game against the Knicks. I sat outside after the game for hours thinking about all the moments I had watched of Reggie. It sounds stupid but it was kind of the cutting of the final tie to my childhood.

-Countless hours wasted by the newsmedia in this country covering stories that should be mentioned, but in passing and not given months and months of all access/all day coverage. I'm talking Michael Jackson, and the runaway bride and Natalee Holloway and the guy who dissapeared on the cruise. It was important to these people and their families, but I didn't give two shits about them and was forced to hear about it everyday.

-Iraq. Another bad year, elections yes, but the end not anywhere in sight, no. 2006 should be a turning point, which way the scales tip is left to be seen. All I know, is that my best bud Trent is back for good and that is what matters to me.

-My birthday. I turned 25. I consider this a momentus occasion for the year. You should too.

-Tommy Lee goes to my college. Well, it's not MY college, I don't own it, but five years of my tuition went to help pay for it. The show was pretty stupid, but I watched of course. It made my alma mater look pretty good actually so that was pretty cool. It made me miss my college days yet again.

-Katrina, Katrina, Katrina. This pretty muched summed up the whole country's September. The most devastating storm, the most inept, incompotent, heartless government response I have ever seen. It was surreal to watch people suffering on television and nobody coming to their rescue for days, while Dubya finally decided he HAD to end his vacation early and be shown a DVD of the news footage of the last three days of horror. Man when this guy says he doesn't follow the news, he means it. What kind of a bubble do they have him in when he has to be shown a burned DVD of the news to catch him up to speed? It was disgusting to watch, but more alarming was the door it opened into the dipshits who are in charge of disaster response in this country and showed us we have no plan to deal with a terrorist attack. It really left the country with both a feeling of shame and fear. Dubya's poll numbers plummeted to all time lows after that. Good thing he got the electoral votes he needed from Louisiana the year before and could go back to not caring about them.

-CIA leak probe. Libby got nailed and Rove may follow. It was fun to watch the wheels come off and for some of these slimey guys to get what they have coming to them. It was also fun to watch the press core make Press Secretary Scott McClellan's life a living hell for most of this year.

-Vegas. I made it to Vegas finally and it rocked. I had a helluva good time.

-'Skers beat the Michigan Wolverines in one of the best and craziest bowl games ever. Great fun to watch and left everyone feeling good about Husker football probably in five years. What an up and down season they had.

-Brett Favre's last season? Maybe but 2005 could be the great one's last year. I hope not, but if he sticks around for one more, I'm going to do my darnest to see him play in person.

*That wraps it up, there were alot of little things about 2005 that made it a memorable year. How does it stack up with the rest? Here are my top 5 memorable years of my lifetime:

5) 1980. That year rocked pretty hard because I was born.
4) 1993. Because.
3) 1997. Lots of reasons that I will not delve into.
2) 2004. Reasons listed above.
1) 1999. Graduated high school, made my first official movie, started college and last year of the Century (and fuck those people who say 2000 was actually the last, they really took all the fun out of it, thanks dickheads.)

This holiday season I will be praying for the persecuted christians in this country

And I think you should too. You would think Christians wouldn't be persecuted in a country that was 90% Christian and had a bible thumping, "born again" President, but somehow they are. Somehow those evil liberals out there who don't hold any office of power or own any major retail company in America are perpetrating this all out offensive on Jesus-lovers everywhere. Come on folks, I mean didn't it just ruin your day when the nice bag boy who hauled your Xbox 360, Ipod, Tiger Woods Nike golf set and other Jesus-worshipping gifts to your car wished you well with "Happy Holidays"! It did for me, and I told the little son of a bitch it was "Merry Christmas" to which he responded shyly, "oh sorry, I'm Jewish". "Well you're probably going to hell so I'd fix that if I were you." He whimpered and ran off crying, ha, I felt better and I could feel the Lord smiling down on me for my bravery.

We must stop this "War on Christmas", before they succeed in making the Christmas season a time of joy and tolerance, and the coming together of all Americans in the name of peace, love and understanding. If we let Elvis Costello get his way we all lose, folks. We need to keep the Christmas season focused on the amounts of money we spend on non-religious gifts for our loved ones and yes even ourselves because Jesus would want me to have that new George Foreman grill, I mean have you seen that thing? It gets rid of 90% of the fat, the same percentage of Christians in this country, coincidence? I think not. If the war continues it will certainly hurt the most precious time for our economy and we all know how passionate Jesus was about the GDP, stock market and fourth quarter growth.

I guess I don't understand why we have a 1st Amendment, it just gets in the way of Christians from imposing their beliefs on the non-believers. If we all were Jesus worshipping, church going, believers, this country would be so much better off. No crime, it's a commandment, hello. No gays, no abortion, no evolution, no science, no debate, no taxes, no unions, no affirmative action, no entitlement programs, no liberals, no opposition to our wars. In one word, PARADISE. Now you might ask yourself what some of the things I mentioned have to do with God, well you just have to trust me on that, it's what he would want.

I mean if we can't force non-Christian kids to worship nativity scenes and sing Jesus songs in public schools, what is this country coming too?! First it was school prayer, now this, why can't those non-Christian 3rd graders just huddle in the corner and shut the fuck up while the rest of their class partakes in the joy of our saviour's birthday, and the joy of knowing they'll be going to heaven also, I might add.

I know I will be celebrating Christ's birthday this Sunday ignoring my family, drinking lots of "egg nog" watching Kobe "backdoor" Bryant play basketball against Shaq, cursing at the refs, and watching my loved ones open their video games, expensive jewelry and ugly sweaters. Who would want to take away this religious celebration, who?!

Merry Christmas!!!

The Jerkface Returns

Nobody cares, nobody reads this anymore, except for my wife, a few friends and the random visitor who stumbles upon it via the "next blog" button. I don't care, I'm writing this as a record of my life, a history book, for me. I enjoyed reading my old posts from this summer. It's been over two months since I've blogged, mostly because I didn't have the time, and I was getting my shit together. I feel like I've been in a major rut as well. I've been unmotivated creatively for the first time in my life. I think I just became burnt out from our little web series, EvansAmerica. But, we will be starting that back up soon after the holidays. I have been starting to contemplate at least what future projects I will want to turn to next, but I have not made much progress there.

This month is going to be crazy busy. I just got back from a weekend getaway for my 1 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been a year since I got married, but at the same time the wedding seems like so long ago. I'm going to vegas for our family christmas later this week and then the holidays will be upon us. My good buddy TW is supposed to be back from Iraq, thank god, as well as a few other friends which will be great to see again. I want to get the old group together from high school, it's been a couple years since we've all been together.

It's all the first time where I am wishing for winter to be over and it's not even christmas yet, and I have no idea why. I mostly think it's because I'm getting old at an alarming rate. I really need to excercise more, I've put on too many pounds, I don't feel in shape and it feels like my body is falling apart.

I also have to go to the hospital tomorrow for a scheduled ultrasound. This has also led me to think that I'm getting old. I've been having some off and on intense pain in a "lower region" if you will that started this past April. I've been to the doctor twice now and there is some kind of mass down there that shouldn't be and they don't know for sure what it is and if it's serious or not. So they are running tests that include this ultrasound, which I'm assuming is going to be a little embarrassing. I don't really care, I just want to know what's going on one way or another and for the pain to finally be gone because it's really put a cramp in my life lately. Only my wife and brother know what's going on because I have decided to not make a big deal out of it until I know what's going on for sure. So we'll see how that all pans out.

Oh to bring back the good ole days.