Is there anything better than late august

Early December maybe, I'm a big "seasons" person, I have been since I was a little tike. I enjoy the time right before a season shift than the actual season itself I think. Take late August for example, it's such a happening time, kids are going back to school, the weather is getting a little cooler, football is on the horizon, the new fall television season is about to start. Things are snapping, moving, it's a nice change from the lazy dog days of summer. Don't get me wrong, I love the laziness of summer, swimming and lounging at the lake house, long weekends. But I get sick of it faster than other seasons. My hate of air conditioning is one of the reasons, I mean I like being cool, but I love having the windows open and getting the fresh air. And so does my cat Dax, he can't get enough of sitting on the little soft ledge I made him in the window in my office and watching the cars and people outside in the street.

I like that there will be football five days a week. With Tuesdays at bdubs and West Wing on Wednesdays, that's a complete week. Throwing on my favorite hoodie and sitting outside in the cool night air, drinking a jack and coke, trying to stay warm, you can't beat that. If my deck wasn't about to collapse I'd put a tv out there to watch football. Dub and I are planning on going to a lot of Friday night high school games as well, my cousin is a starter at our old high school and since we were just hired to run the school districts new PR campaign, I'm hoping to score two season passes at our meeting with the board tonight. We should decide whether we're going to be Millard North or Burke fans also, both schools are right up the street from us and we're technically in the Millard North zone, but my mom went to Burke so I'm thinking we'll choose them to rout for.

Since I turned 21, Thursdays have become the best day of the week, I usually never had class on Fridays, and if I did it was one class and I usually skipped it or showed up drunk (this could have contributed to the academic probation that first semester, but I digress). There was no better feeling then finishing class on Thursday afternoon swinging by the Osco Drug by my college place on the way home from class, picking up a bundle of cheap boos and getting ready to drink, watch football, go out to the "O" street bars and relax. God, I miss college so much, I'm to the point where I even miss going to class, I don't miss the hundreds of pages of papers I wrote over my five years there, but still I miss it alot (and yes I did graduate, with a double major in Film and Political Science and a minor in History and a respectable 3.3 GPA so take that). I miss my college friends, they've all moved away or I've lost contact, though Maslonka and my bro have recently moved to O-town, so that's good news (tear right?).

So in the midst of late August, I am making a pact with myself to make this fall as close to college as possible for no other reason but to benefit myself and be selfish.

*Mondays - drinking, watching Monday Night Football and fake wrestling with Maslonka
*Tuesdays - bdubs, of course drinking
*Wednesdays - watch West Wing, other shows/movies, rest liver
*Thursdays - finish my work for the week, start drinking early, have people over to watch college football or go out to bars
*Friday - go to a high school football game, bars afterwards
*Saturday - drink and watch football all day, try and bring back "Breakfast and Boos" in the mornings, a tradition I learned while visiting a friend at Notre Dame back in the day that I have tried to start here with no success whatsoever
*Sunday - tape Packers game to watch late that night because we will probably be filming through Sept. and Oct. on most Sundays (God rested on Sunday, but not me)

I guess in conclusion I love this time of year through about January when it starts to get depressing, I love the fall, I love football, I love Halloween and Christmas and of course New Year's if only because it is the only time I can get away with singing and dancing ridiculously to "Celebrate good times". Love that song. This is a long post, I know, but I really only post once a week so it's all good, and I decided to dig up some old college photos for your viewing pleasure since we're strolling down memory lane.

Dude, I'm drowning in the spam

Okay, spam, junk mail, telemarketers calling your phone, it is out of control. Has anyone else noticed a phenomenal jump in spam mail in their junk mail folder? I have way too many email accounts and they are all being flooded by numerous messages like this in my junk folder:

GRoWTH4MEN@Skyline_8.. FW:PERMANENTENLARGERHorace

You know, nothing captures my attention more than absolute fucking jibberish that I can't understand, please let me click on that so that I may learn this foreign language of nonsense. And I have come to the conclusion that men are really, really, REALLY insecure about their cock size. I mean good god, it's not that important fellas. Think about it women, if you thought you were insecure, look at all the marketing to men who apparently think they have small dicks. Here's a news flash for the guys, even if you have an incredibly undersized cock, if you can please your woman with your tongue or finger or whatever, she's not going to care about your manhood if she loves you. I don't know exactly where I stand on the totum poll, but from what I read the average is to what I may or may not have not measured on a drunken night with my wife, I'm in decent standing with the judges (And yes you are smaller, flaccid, while partaking in naked rope swinging on a cool june night, I swear, don't make me prove it!) But seriously, who cares, women are the last people to start judging based on physical features... or are they? Ladies? Back me up, right?

And let us not forget the new invention of spam comments on all of our blogs. You know where somebody posts a ridiculous message about "hey I run a cardio nose reimbursement equipment company, if you're interested, click here" What the FUCK? Who are these people and what are they even selling? I can understand the small dick stuff, but who are the PR people for these companies and why is the gameplan this effed up shit. I mean if you were a door to door salesman in the good ole days trying to sell vacuum cleaners, when someone answered the door would you start talking in ewok language? I guess I just don't understand but that's just me.

So yeah, it's the Jerkface's birthday

Did I just refer to myself in the third person? Uh yeah, that's right I went there, it's my b-day so eff off. The big 25, a quarter of a century, when I think about it, it's the perfect age, 25 still seems young, but older and professional at the same time. 26 will be a weird age I think, like I'll feel like I have to grow up or something, but 25 will be just right for the next year. I sorta started my b-day celebration last night at bdubs with some friends and we had a round of redheaded sluts at midnight (the shot I mean....or do I?). I then stayed up drinking with my buddy and actor from my show, who is crashing at my place at the moment because he just moved to Omaha and is still looking for a place.

My grandparents did call me this morning to wish me a happy birthday, I bring this up because not last year, but the year before, they forgot my birthday and didn't call for like a week until my parents found out and yelled at them and then they called and I think tried to bribe me with an unusually high birthday check that my grandpa slipped to me the next time I saw them like it was drug deal. Kind of a "sorry we forgot your birthday, here's alot of money to show we still love you". And I think they forgot last year until that night, because they called late when I was already out at the bars which is way past their bed time. In their defense they have 9 grandkids, but I am their oldest, and they are grandparents, what else to they have to do besides pay attention to their grandchildren, okay that is selfish, but come on.

My parents haven't called yet either, which they usually do way too early in the morning, though we did have my celebration dinner on Saturday with them out at the lake house. But, they didn't give me a present or a card and I find this strange, unless when you turn 25 parents are relieved from their contract of getting their kids anything for their birthdays, I'll have to check. I actually ended up giving my dad a $500 check for my loan payment. That's not how it's supposed to work. He's the one with all the money, I would have taken as a present, him just tearing up the check right there and saying "you're money's no good here". That would have been awesome. But alas, my life is not an HBO series and it did not happen.

If you think I'm being a little demanding about getting attention for my birthday, you would be correct. And this is easily explained by having to share a birthday with my younger brother for the last 23 years. That's right we were born on the same day, 2 years apart. Therefore it's never been just MY day, it was and always will be OUR day and damn it, it rains on my attention parade. Luckily I really like my bro and we get along great so it's not really a big deal, and it makes for a cool story to tell.

Well, that's all, I'm going to get just silly trashed tonight, so that should be a good time that I won't remember the next day. Until next time.

The good ole days of television

The Dukes of Hazzard movie opens tomorrow and I can't wait. I loved this show as a kid, I had the Dukes big wheel and all the figures and matchbox cars. Looking back on it though, this show was so ridiculous, the dialogue was just terrible and the plots are the exact same each episode. The Dukes get in a fight, Boss Hog is sure he's going to get Uncle Jesse's farm this time and Daisy has to wear something skimpy to get them out of jail where they get their car back blow some shit up and save the day. Every episode. I mean the wrap sheet on these guys must be mind boggling. It also makes you wonder, where the "rural" television shows have gone. Every show is always set in the city these days, would a show set in the rural south featuring rednecks driving a car with a confederate flag painted on the roof and a character named 'Cooter' ever make it today? Answer: not a chance in hell.

Walking around Best Buy last weekend in the television section, I'm really appreciating the trend of putting every show, past and present on DVD, it's the best invention ever. There's nothing better than watching full seasons of my favorite shows, back to back to back without commercials. Love it. It also made me reminisce about my favorite shows growing up, (pre-high school basically).

Top Ten:
1. Chips
2. Simon and Simon
3. The Cosby Show
4. The Dukes of Hazzard
5. Coach
6. MacGyver
7. Home Improvement
8. Family Ties
9. Fresh Prince
10. The Wonder Years