Dude, I'm drowning in the spam

Okay, spam, junk mail, telemarketers calling your phone, it is out of control. Has anyone else noticed a phenomenal jump in spam mail in their junk mail folder? I have way too many email accounts and they are all being flooded by numerous messages like this in my junk folder:

GRoWTH4MEN@Skyline_8.. FW:PERMANENTENLARGERHorace

You know, nothing captures my attention more than absolute fucking jibberish that I can't understand, please let me click on that so that I may learn this foreign language of nonsense. And I have come to the conclusion that men are really, really, REALLY insecure about their cock size. I mean good god, it's not that important fellas. Think about it women, if you thought you were insecure, look at all the marketing to men who apparently think they have small dicks. Here's a news flash for the guys, even if you have an incredibly undersized cock, if you can please your woman with your tongue or finger or whatever, she's not going to care about your manhood if she loves you. I don't know exactly where I stand on the totum poll, but from what I read the average is to what I may or may not have not measured on a drunken night with my wife, I'm in decent standing with the judges (And yes you are smaller, flaccid, while partaking in naked rope swinging on a cool june night, I swear, don't make me prove it!) But seriously, who cares, women are the last people to start judging based on physical features... or are they? Ladies? Back me up, right?

And let us not forget the new invention of spam comments on all of our blogs. You know where somebody posts a ridiculous message about "hey I run a cardio nose reimbursement equipment company, if you're interested, click here" What the FUCK? Who are these people and what are they even selling? I can understand the small dick stuff, but who are the PR people for these companies and why is the gameplan this effed up shit. I mean if you were a door to door salesman in the good ole days trying to sell vacuum cleaners, when someone answered the door would you start talking in ewok language? I guess I just don't understand but that's just me.