The unfortunate circumstances that almost lead to my death by tornado

Okay, so I may have overstated the seriousness of my headline for dramtic purposes, but still this is a weird story that involves the following: Sirens, Bill Ramby, Hardball, Baseball and a Tornado. So you know it's going to be a good story when I can link all these together. Follow closely children or you might get lost.

So Tuesday night I decide to make a final decision on whether to go down to the Husker baseball game on Wednesday afternoon. I make up my mind that if the weather is going to be decent I am going to push off my work and go. I catch the end of KETV's newscast with Bill Ramby giving the weather recap, partly cloudy and 67, perfect. I'm going to watch me some 'skers baseball. Then before I flip to The Colbert Report I hear Ramby say, "and remember they will be testing the emergency sirens tomorrow because tornado season has started." On a wednesday? I think to myself, that's stupid. But I don't think much more about it other than the fact that I hate those siren things, they make me very tense, there is something very "end of the world, armageddonish" about that sound.

Wednesday morning I get up early to let in my dad and his builder contractor friend to measure our deck because it is falling apart and we have to tear it down and build a new one. Get done with that, I work out, shower and off to a meeting when that god damn siren goes off. It is raining at this point and at first I think tornado, but then remember Bill Ramby telling me not to worry. Okay no problem. Finish the meeting, go pick up my buddy TW and off to Lincoln for the game. Great weather, good game, go 'skers, drop TW off, make the dutiful visit to the rents and granrents and it's off for home, it's about 6:50ish, the sun has just set, there are some dark clouds but nothing that catches my eye. I hit Gretna and all of a sudden am blasted by that damn siren again. Fuck. Then I remember Bill Ramby telling me not to worry, they were testing the sirens today. I drive home uneventfully.

Later that night, I am watching a recorded Hardball episode on the ole DVR, when about 50 minutes into the episode there are loud annoying beeps and then there is white text on top of the screen. Fuck, they are testing this too. Then I read the text and it says a tornado warning has been issued for Sarpy and Douglas county, this is not a drill until 7:20 pm. What the eff? Then I remember this taped between 6-7pm, I look at the time again, 6:50pm on the recording, I was in Gretna at that time, those sirens weren't an effing drill, that was real. Shit. I could have been hit by a tornado because my guard was down. And then I realized something, I almost died because of Bill Ramby. That jerkface.

Laura Ingraham a traitor, Dubya a pussy, just another morning in America.

When you keep fucking everything up and there is a new scandal virtually every week, from the Dubai ports debacle to your former economic advisor being arrested for an ongoing shoplifting scam at Target (seriously WTF!), you'd think a good leader, a decent human being, would stand up and correct the course. Maybe would think to themselves, maybe I'm not doing something right. Yes they would, but only a stubborn ass coward would blame all his troubles on someone else. We've gone from Harry Truman who also had terrible poll numbers, but took it like a man and said "The buck stops here!" to Dubya's "It's the media's fault". Cry me a river you big fucking baby.

His press conference last week set off the whole campaign, when he called on Helen Thomas (you know the 90 year old reporter who hasn't gotten called on in 4 years because she's liberal) and the Prez showed what a tough son of a bitch he is getting into it with a senior citizen. I know that would fire me up if I were a right winger. Then the memo goes out to all the right wing hacks like Rush, O'reilly, Hannity, the whole group. You know the right wing 100% biased radio and tv hosts that have the nerve to criticize others as being biased. Again WTF? I think the most pathetic moment of the whole "attack the media, it's their fault, not ours" campaign was when right wing radio hack Laura Ingraham went on the Today Show to lecture them about how to cover the war in the right way after her brief 8 day photo-op jaunt to Iraq before quickly cowering back to her safe studio here in the states. She tried to paint the picture that journalists in Iraq (apparently including the 80 world reporters who have died over there) were cowards and never left their hotel balconies.

Now I have my own beef with what is considered news these days in general (i.e. continuous Michael Jackson, Natalle Holloway or replace with missing white girl of the week stories, instead of the trajedies in Africa) but to not afford the same respect for reporters who literally risk their lives in Iraq every day, as we do the brave troops is to completely and undeniably show how pathetic, how right wing, how desperate you are to try and prove a point that isn't true. Laura Ingraham is a lot of things and a lot of names that I don't need to mention because they are obvious, just go to her website and look at her two glamour shots photos and it should tell you enough about how seriously she should be taken. But I'm going to officially add another title to her resume: TRAITOR. If the right can use that word everyday, so can we. When you ignore the truth, when you blindly follow the White House playbook sent out every Friday by Karl Rove to the point that you brutally and cowardly bash reporters who have spent the last three years in Iraq covering the story, you are a traitor to our country and our troops and to democracy. When did demanding our troops stay in the place that has killed over 2,300 troops become supporting them? Answer me that.

My rant it almost over. But, I will leave you with two items I have seen this past week that are the only two rebuttals you would need for the nonsense that has been "this week's attack the media". Many people might have been asking themselves, well is the media being unfair? These two great points should answer the question for you.

*A) Chris Matthews has this gem that Laura should put in her pipe and smoke. He said last week on his show, "are we really going to be lectured about being biased, does the White House really want the whole truth, everything out on the table without being censored? That's fine, but I say we start with being able to set up cameras at the base in Dover, Delaware where the American flag draped caskets come home every day, EVERY DAY, so far 2,323 of those caskets, carrying the dead bodies of brave young men and women have arrived. Not one of which has been shown on television screens to the American people, because Rumsfeld and Bush won't allow the media to show them. Don't lecture us that we aren't showing the American people the whole story, you're right we aren't, but that's not our fault."

*B) The second great point is from CBS news reporter Lara Logan, who when questioned why she doesn't do more "positive" news stories as if she has to meet the white house quota or something said this, "I've done positive stories, I did a story a few weeks ago about how the power was finally restored to this neighborhood after a year, but then what, should I report the next week that the power is still on like it's breaking news? American soldiers and Iraq citizens are blown up everyday, how do I say to myself that the water being turned back on is more important than the life of a solider or a group of citizens?" She also points out the reality of life in Iraq and something the White House knows but yet still attacks reporters for, which should tell you about the kind of people they are, "I go to the U.S. headquarters and ask about the good things that are happening, and they tell me a school has opened but that I shouldn't show it on TV or say exactly where it is located because it would be bombed the next day if I did. They tell me that a water main has been restored but don't report which one because it will be attacked. Don't do interviews with Iraqi soldiers or policemen because them and their families will probably be assasinated." So what does that leave for her stories, they would look something like this "Somewhere at some point a school opened, with water from some restored water main protected by anonymous policemen who would not talk to us for fear of their life."

Is that the vague seemingly made up, hard-hitting "positive" news story all the right wingers are yearning for. Or is it that they finally can't deal with the thought that regular Americans just don't like their fearless cowboy hero anymore. That the distained, disgraced, worst president ever, Bill Clinton in their minds, never came close to dropping to the horrible poll numbers Dubya is at. Hmm, something to think about I guess, it's morning in America and your leader is a pussy.

(sidenote: I wonder how many hits I'll get for having the word "pussy" in my title)

"Crash" into me

The Oscars have come and gone again and yet once more we realize how "inside political" the awards are, how self absorbed the stars are and how much we still love watching. Our Oscar party was very fun, better than years past, and the pick em' contest was out of control. Everyone came out of the gate swinging, getting about 2 out of 3 on the first categories before slumping. G-Spice took an early lead and never let go, pure luck. Magnum (that's me) stayed in close second after making Scotty his bitch in the costume and art direction categories as Geisha came through for me. I hit a drag in the mid categories and saw Scobo surpass me for second place coming to the end. Going into the Best Picture award, I was one point behind Scobo for 2nd and we both had "Brokeback" for our pick, meaning I couldn't catch them unless I threw a Doug Flutie hail mary into the end zone and switched my pick to "Crash". I promptly did and it was approved by the room and we all watched as my hail mary was caught! Touchdown bitches. Scotty and I tied again, not for first, but it was a moral victory I thought.

I thought the show was pretty solid this year, the speeches were short and seemed to fly by, though we did fast forward through some with the DVR. And it was a wide range of films, no sweeps, which was good. Jon Stewart came out of the gates a little flat, the audience didn't warm up that much at first and I even thought the jokes were sub-par. Stewart really shined during the middle of the show with great zingers in between commercial breaks and awards. The scientology bit where he pretended that he was being interrupted by the cameras was brilliant. And other great stuff like "Charlton Heston is cut, he looks like he's been lifting 20 commandments". "Hey do you think if we all help pull down this big oscar statue, democracy will flourish in Hollywood?" "I can't believe Cinderella Man didn't win best makeup, I'd imagine it'd be pretty tough to make Russell Crowe look like he's just been in a fight". And my favorite, "For those of you keeping track at home on your oscar scorecard, it's Martin Scorcese zero, and Three 6 Mafia one." Good stuff. The intro was funny and Stephen Colbert doing the voiceover for the fake academy award "attack ads" was frickin hilarious.

In summary, even though "Crash" came through for me, I can't believe it won. We're really dropping the bar down a few notches. I mean it was a decent film, don't get me wrong, but just because they didn't shy away from race, we award them with Best Picture. I mean shit, this movie doesn't touch "Traffic" with a 10 foot pole. And I'm all for, diversifying the oscars, but the Mafia shit was just ridiculous it was so obvious what the academy voters were doing. Trying to make a statement rather than reward the best in each category, but then again, that's what it has always been. More show than substance. It's okay because I'll still watch next year.

Americans Never Actually Grow Up

I usually make passing comments about politics on this blog, but today I'm going to dedicate a whole post to venting about worldly events. My friends know I'm liberal and that I distain this administration, and I can defend myself from criticism in that it's not just that they're Republicans (my whole family is Republican and I like them), or that they literally seem to screw everything up that isn't related to tax cuts, it's that President Bush is just a bad leader, period.

The media has been trying to figure out what exactly is the root cause of Dubya's low approval ratings, and not just that, but his "likeablity" ratings nose dive as well. Is it the War in Iraq? The Economy? Katrina? The Port Deal? The NSA Wiretapping? The CIA Leak? The Abramoff Scandal? Cheney shooting a guy in the fucking face? Well, yes, it's sort of all those things piling up on top of each other, but it's more simple than that. Bush's approval rating is hovering around 35% and the cause is basically a parental relationship that has crumbled. Americans are always basically children and the government are the parents. The President is the daddy and the congress is the mommy, and the courts are the grandparents who are all knowing and kind of step in when there are squabbles. When Bush was parading around like a cowboy leading us into countries in the name of national security, his ratings were soaring. It's because daddy was sure of himself and knew the route to the amusement park on vacation, it wasn't the right amusement park and there were no rides when we got there, but damn it I believed in dad that he knew where he was going. Now, the kids in the back seat know dad is lost, he's got that worried look on his face as he drives, mom is yelling at him to pull over and ask for directions but he won't do it. That's where Bush is now, he lost the confidence of his children.

He seems out of the loop on all the issues, when Katrina hit he had to be shown a compilation dvd of the devastion and suffering on his ride back from vacation. When Cheney shot somebody he didn't call the president for two days. When the Port Deal blew up, he hadn't even known about it. I'm not saying this to bash him, but his staff is letting him appear fucking clueless, like nobody fills in the boss on what is going on. Daddy isn't standing up and taking control of things, he's lounging around the house in his underwear, missing work, not shaving and not being attentive to the bills piling up and what his kids are complaining about. Oh and he also thinks it's fine to have the shady Johnson family's middle son from down the street babysit and watch the house. Even though their oldest son burned down the garage, he's sure the middle son isn't a bad seed. This makes mommy mad, and the kids confused about where the hell is daddy's judgement.

There's a new tape that is out showing Dubya being fully briefed about Hurricane Katrina the day before it hit. The National Weather Service guy tells the president that winds could possibly blow water from the lake and breech the levees and that it is a quote "GRAVE CONCERN OF HIS". I had figured this had happened all along, I mean when Dubya went on TV to cover his ass, and said the "no one predicted the levees would be breeched" line, it sounded like bullshit when he said it and of course it was. I've been hard on Michael Brown and he should have screamed louder and done a better job, but in this video that was released he appeared on top of his game and was predicting all the horrible things that actually went on to happen, including the roof of the Superdome being ripped off. Wow, Keith Olbermann said it best last night (are you watching yet?) in a surprised voice,"heckuva job Brownie". As Bush talked on this video conference call it was the same unispired bullshit, "you folks are doing a heckuva job, blah, blah, blah". He didn't want to be there, he was on vacation, no leadership, no taking control, he was being a pussy! Plain and simple. A real man, a real leader, a real father, would have stood up and said "alright, this is going to be some tough days and I'm going to be right there with you and I'm going to end my vacation, stay up all night with you, if you need something, yell and we'll fix it". Other people in the government have certain responsibilites too, I agree, but it now appears Brownie was actually doing his job and daddy dropped the ball.