The unfortunate circumstances that almost lead to my death by tornado

Okay, so I may have overstated the seriousness of my headline for dramtic purposes, but still this is a weird story that involves the following: Sirens, Bill Ramby, Hardball, Baseball and a Tornado. So you know it's going to be a good story when I can link all these together. Follow closely children or you might get lost.

So Tuesday night I decide to make a final decision on whether to go down to the Husker baseball game on Wednesday afternoon. I make up my mind that if the weather is going to be decent I am going to push off my work and go. I catch the end of KETV's newscast with Bill Ramby giving the weather recap, partly cloudy and 67, perfect. I'm going to watch me some 'skers baseball. Then before I flip to The Colbert Report I hear Ramby say, "and remember they will be testing the emergency sirens tomorrow because tornado season has started." On a wednesday? I think to myself, that's stupid. But I don't think much more about it other than the fact that I hate those siren things, they make me very tense, there is something very "end of the world, armageddonish" about that sound.

Wednesday morning I get up early to let in my dad and his builder contractor friend to measure our deck because it is falling apart and we have to tear it down and build a new one. Get done with that, I work out, shower and off to a meeting when that god damn siren goes off. It is raining at this point and at first I think tornado, but then remember Bill Ramby telling me not to worry. Okay no problem. Finish the meeting, go pick up my buddy TW and off to Lincoln for the game. Great weather, good game, go 'skers, drop TW off, make the dutiful visit to the rents and granrents and it's off for home, it's about 6:50ish, the sun has just set, there are some dark clouds but nothing that catches my eye. I hit Gretna and all of a sudden am blasted by that damn siren again. Fuck. Then I remember Bill Ramby telling me not to worry, they were testing the sirens today. I drive home uneventfully.

Later that night, I am watching a recorded Hardball episode on the ole DVR, when about 50 minutes into the episode there are loud annoying beeps and then there is white text on top of the screen. Fuck, they are testing this too. Then I read the text and it says a tornado warning has been issued for Sarpy and Douglas county, this is not a drill until 7:20 pm. What the eff? Then I remember this taped between 6-7pm, I look at the time again, 6:50pm on the recording, I was in Gretna at that time, those sirens weren't an effing drill, that was real. Shit. I could have been hit by a tornado because my guard was down. And then I realized something, I almost died because of Bill Ramby. That jerkface.