"Crash" into me

The Oscars have come and gone again and yet once more we realize how "inside political" the awards are, how self absorbed the stars are and how much we still love watching. Our Oscar party was very fun, better than years past, and the pick em' contest was out of control. Everyone came out of the gate swinging, getting about 2 out of 3 on the first categories before slumping. G-Spice took an early lead and never let go, pure luck. Magnum (that's me) stayed in close second after making Scotty his bitch in the costume and art direction categories as Geisha came through for me. I hit a drag in the mid categories and saw Scobo surpass me for second place coming to the end. Going into the Best Picture award, I was one point behind Scobo for 2nd and we both had "Brokeback" for our pick, meaning I couldn't catch them unless I threw a Doug Flutie hail mary into the end zone and switched my pick to "Crash". I promptly did and it was approved by the room and we all watched as my hail mary was caught! Touchdown bitches. Scotty and I tied again, not for first, but it was a moral victory I thought.

I thought the show was pretty solid this year, the speeches were short and seemed to fly by, though we did fast forward through some with the DVR. And it was a wide range of films, no sweeps, which was good. Jon Stewart came out of the gates a little flat, the audience didn't warm up that much at first and I even thought the jokes were sub-par. Stewart really shined during the middle of the show with great zingers in between commercial breaks and awards. The scientology bit where he pretended that he was being interrupted by the cameras was brilliant. And other great stuff like "Charlton Heston is cut, he looks like he's been lifting 20 commandments". "Hey do you think if we all help pull down this big oscar statue, democracy will flourish in Hollywood?" "I can't believe Cinderella Man didn't win best makeup, I'd imagine it'd be pretty tough to make Russell Crowe look like he's just been in a fight". And my favorite, "For those of you keeping track at home on your oscar scorecard, it's Martin Scorcese zero, and Three 6 Mafia one." Good stuff. The intro was funny and Stephen Colbert doing the voiceover for the fake academy award "attack ads" was frickin hilarious.

In summary, even though "Crash" came through for me, I can't believe it won. We're really dropping the bar down a few notches. I mean it was a decent film, don't get me wrong, but just because they didn't shy away from race, we award them with Best Picture. I mean shit, this movie doesn't touch "Traffic" with a 10 foot pole. And I'm all for, diversifying the oscars, but the Mafia shit was just ridiculous it was so obvious what the academy voters were doing. Trying to make a statement rather than reward the best in each category, but then again, that's what it has always been. More show than substance. It's okay because I'll still watch next year.